What face will you put forward?
What are you afraid of people knowing?
When I get asked, I’m the first to say: it’s probably the filter. But is it?
If you haven’t watched the Cynthia Nixon-narrated “Be A Lady” video, here it is for you:
And it speaks to my truth. We as women are pulled, pushed, and persuaded to hide who we really are, and then condemned when we’re not truly ourselves. I know what this feels like. To feel like you’re hiding somewhere, locked deep inside of a person you think people want to see, instead of the person you feel like you actually are.
I also read this tonight:
Don’t you want to be authentic? At all costs? Don’t you want the last thing you say to them to be the real thing, you really meant. What you really wanted them to know, from you? Not some version of you, you think people want to see or hear?
Are we supposed to live behind the filter?
Do you use a filter?
Filters are for coffee, and Snapchat, and Church on Sundays. For reserving the curse word for home instead of Grandma’s dining table. Filters are a gleaning veil where, used too often, you start to get lost behind the person you used to be.
Or. You can choose the filter. You can consciously choose to keep a piece back, maybe behind a smirk or smile. But just a piece. A piece behind the shield. The filter.
I’m not afraid of unpopular opinions. Throwing the appropriate ‘fuck’ into the conversation. I’m not afraid that someone may not like me, or agree with my convictions.
For me, I treat filters like watered-down censors. Knowing your audience. Choosing the hills you’re willing to die on. Reserving that piece of yourself you’re not willing to give up or just toss away. Filters are for cleaning over a blemish, casting an edge or a sparkle. Filters are just little speckles of glean. The tried, true, and tested you is still there. Still under the surface for when it counts. For when it matters. For where it’s needed and how.
I’m not afraid to airbrush my life where it’s warranted. You shouldn’t be, either. You can be authentic, and true to yourself without having to give it all away. You only owe your energy to you. Some people will have to accept that.
When you grow up, you start to realize that not every argument is worth it. Not every fight deserves your full attention. Sometimes, you need to hide behind a filter to save for what really counts. And only you know the difference. Sometimes, ya gotta just fake it to make it.
Hashtag – no filter. Correction. Hashtag – sometimes filter.
— c ☆