It took me 52 weeks to gain 50lbs.

It took me 13 weeks to lose 40 of them.

That’s the message I sent to my sister this afternoon when she asked me if I was getting tired of the program.

It’s true that it does blow when I can’t have a bag of chips while I’m watching a movie. Sure it does. It does take willpower to not eat up the pizza toppings that fell off while you were cleaning your family’s dishes from dinner. It does feel frustrating you can’t have that piece of cake. Yes. It does.

But in lieu of getting myself fired up over not getting a chance to indulge is reminding myself that I spent years and years over-indulging. I already ate that piece of cake, those stuffed crusts, those chips. I did. I borrowed against myself years and years ago when I would eat enough for four or five people enjoying a snack. And now, I’m just repaying the debt in a sense. I’m just saying: no, I already ate that bag of chips. And now I’m not going to double up from before

When my weight loss is complete, and I’m down to my goal weight, then the lessons I learn become applied to my lifestyle. Can I eat inside perimeters? Boundaries? Can I balance food more effectively so that I can always enjoy a snack, without gaining so much weight that I’d have to give it up again? That’s the program I’m on. It’s not about denying. It’s about accountability. I am learning the mechanics and science behind food and eating so that I don’t gain another 50lbs in a year. I will know how to better take care of what’s going into my body at all times. I can have a treat meal without feeling like I’ve done something to obscure my progress. I can not berate myself for enjoying a bag of chips, because I’ll know how to stay on track, or to catch up later.

Alright – the hard part of Week 13. It was week one of my new gig with Leon’s. And with any job, you want to give it your all. Work your ass off, and make it worth it. You want your boss to feel like you were worth it to hire. Your staff to think you’re worth it to work for. And for your customers to believe you’re giving it your all so that they’re inspired to come back another day.

So my days kinda went something like this – up between 5:30 and 6, work on my Social posts for my clients, get myself breakfast, while making my lunch and snack to take to work, and get out the door between 7 and 7:30. Start my day between 8 and 8:30 in Brockville, and stick around till after we shut the lights off. That had me back on the road between 6:30 and 7, and hopefully home between 8:30 and 9 (depending if I had to stop in Kingston), and then make dinner, and crawl into bed where I spend my evenings scheduling the socials for the Care page. Back at it again the next day.

And I love it. I really, really love it. It’s challenging, and has me on my feet for hours. I’m getting in my steps. Challenging my brain. Organizing, filing. Working with people. Managing a staff. Introducing policies. Getting my footing and learning a new system. I really, really love this gig.

But what does that mean for the program? Can you stay compliant, and work your ass off simultaneously?

Of course you can. But you have to want to. As I mentioned, I knew that I was going to have to meal prep every day. And that makes it simpler. Making lunch while making breakfast was imperative. Knowing what I enjoy for snack makes life even simpler, because I can duplicate. And – taking a break at work. You must, must always take care of yourself. Even if you have to eat lunch over several attempts, you still gotta eat. You gotta recharge the batteries. You’re no good to anyone if you collapse on the floor.

Being that today was my first day off, I got a chance to get back up on the treadmill, which I’d missed terribly.

And I’ll admit – I worried what the progress would be like as my body adjusted to new routines, new schedules, long drives, and walking the floor across my store dozens of times a day.

Turns out – I had a zero reason to worry.

This week, I lost just under 5lbs. 2.75″ off my bust. Nothing off my belly, but an additional 1.25″ off my hips.

This week, I crossed the 40lbs threshold. What does that look like?

52 weeks to put on 50lbs.

13 weeks to take off 40 of them .

I don’t miss Doritos. Much.

Food this week:

Watch out, Week 14. I’m coming for you.

You can if you want to.

— c ☆