Part of knowing when to seek help hasn’t strictly been about being sad. What sadness can masquerade around as is more like agitation, aggravation. Quickly snapping, or feeling anxious. Jumping to quick conclusion, dissolving into tears. Unable to “take a joke”, or even instruction that become misconstrued as “lecturing”. Before you know it, you’re sitting in the front seat of the cab of your truck, bawling your brains out to your husband in a parking lot – unable to tear yourself away from the outpouring of grief, shouting – I just want someone to care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To be thankful for my supportive partner, my Greek Yogurt shakes, and to everyone who keeps motivating me to wake up every morning thankful.
Through all the wins this week – new food recipes, new projects, new work-out routines – only gaining mere ounces from the extreme egg fast is what has me the most proud of myself.
Today was an extraordinary day. Today, I stepped up on the scale and was welcomed by a new milestone. I have surpassed 56lbs lost, and taken off more than 15″ off my waist. To witness a new goal crushed – well, it’s just compelling me to keep working towards the finish line.
This week, I lost just short of 4lbs and nearly 2 inches off my waist. No holidays to hide behind, just focus and determination that even when it got hard, when it got sad, when it got difficult to get out of bed, I still hauled out my Nikes and hauled my weary carcass back up on the treadmill.
Trust your instinct. Trust your body. When something seems off, it might just be. I was gaining weight rapidly, and I knew it wasn’t right. I advocated and figured out what it was.
This week is Christmas. And I baked goodies. And I love turkey dinners. And Friday, I’m going to eat and be merry without caution, or rhyme or reason. Because as I’m learning to live, I have to be able to manage both – living and eating and breathing and being within healthy limitations. The scale read 177 this week. And the tape measure shrunk an additional inch. But I gained in understanding my body, the way it interprets food and how I plan to fuel it. And that is something I’m happy to carry around.
I’ve gained a few pounds, but lost a few inches. But what’s more important than inches and scales and protein bars and whey powders is having the right mind set to say: no matter what else happens, it’s all supposed to happen.
I have to add one extra piece to this – you absolutely cannot lose weight effectively if you tell yourself you don’t want to program where you can’t “have a snack” if you want it. I’m serious. It’s not how it works. I sped my metabolism up by not cheating on the program. By not making minor concessions. At the end of month 4, I’m much more aware of what little nibbles of cheating can do to throw off an entire week. Imagine how much I would have lost if I hadn’t bowed to the simplicity of convenient food?
And now, 4 1/2 months later, I’m down more than 50, and have successfully trimmed down 16″ off my waist. In fact, I did something today I haven’t since being a teenager – I tucked my shirt into the waist of my jeans. Find success in the smallest details. Because it’s a cultivation of all the little happy times that define the big moments.