You have to be your best friend. You have to be the one responsible for your own happiness. It doesn’t lie in anyone else, but you. And that’s the most we have control over. Everything else is consequence and circumstance.
Overall, that’s almost 10 inches off my tummy, and 7 off my hips. And this is why I accept the plateaus as they arrive. My body is shape shifting in ways I could have never expected. And it’s also why I’m motivated to not sneak that licorice all sort … Why I’m designing recipes that are filling, and delicious. Because the program works.
And this is how we fared at the end of Week 7. 25lbs down. A half – to an inch off everywhere. And a smile, because, let’s face it. Completed goals feel good. Here’s to getting to under 200lbs.
I can’t sugar coat the program. But I can tell you this is the best thing I’ve ever done. Accepting that I was ready, and prepared to make the leap into actually trying to undue 18 years of damage to my body was the hardest part. Nothing now, and nothing in the future will be as hard as committing to myself.
When you can get there, you can lend yourself to healthy relationships. Where toxic behaviour, toxic personality traits, toxic methods to handling conflict become learned patterns of change and growth.
This morning I tried on my size 12 shorts. And I could do them up. And I cried.
And when it came down to finally slapping some authentic calories into my person, suddenly, I was unable to get through the entire thing without feeling extraordinarily full. Fast. Then the guilt/excitement settles over you, like a vicious pendulum swinging between the devil and the angel looking down over your shoulder. “Care, what the hell are you doing? You get to EAT. EAT!”
The takeaway is this – to celebrate the good, and the bad, the light and the dark, the wonderment and the let down, you have to have both. Without it, it becomes hard to distinguish between what’s awesome, and what’s okay, and what’s worth working towards, and how did you find the motivation to rise up and keep moving forward.
Give yourself the chance to be your own champion. Because you are the critic in your own life. Impress yourself, first. The rest will follow.
I don’t miss sugar, I don’t. Nor carbs, or eating out. I just miss the time I wasted thinking I didn’t have it in me to do something this extreme. But here we are.