If I had known how hard it was going to be, I wouldn’t have signed up for a fast. But now that I’m just about to wrap up my first, I suppose I can safely say that I’d do it again. Not right away, mind you. But I’d give it another go.
If you’ve not been following along online, I’ve been working on an Egg Fast. My sister has been Keto for years, and on hearing my plateau the last couple weeks, challenged me to give it a go. She’s done it multiple times, as has other members of my family. So I figured, what the hell. I mean, I like eggs, right?
Turns, out I needed to be extra creative if I was going to choke down another egg. And some of the recipes I discovered (like the above Fettucine Alfredo and “chaffles” below) are actually going to become staples in my house.
I left the weight loss studio in December. I gave in to having a great Christmas. And I wormed my way back to 180lbs when I decided I’d run at real weight loss on my own, with the goal of curing my sleep apnea. Without the use of the studio to lean on, Jan and I had really discussed whether I was as disciplined as I was when money was on the line. That bump in motivation set the gears in motion. Not just for the egg fast, but for the other meals I had during the week. Not one was outside of being program-compliant. And tightening up my eating habits produced results.
They say weight loss begins in the kitchen. That for most of what you’ll see as real loss is going to begin in how you eat, and then how you exercise to maintain it. I’ve been successful at getting up on the treadmill every day – including this week where the kids went back to school, meaning I was tying up my Nikes at 6:30 in the morning. I want it again. I want those goals so bad I can taste them. And what’s making it even more motivating is watching the people join my Health Care group on Facebook. These incredibly wonderful and lovely humans are teaching me so much about eating, and pushing, and staying on track. Forgiving one’s self, and giving one’s self a break. Being human. Being creative. You should join the group if you’re interested in chatting with a group of folks who push their health to their forefront of priorities. And no – I’m not talking strictly about weight loss. Lots of folks in the group don’t need to lose weight. Maybe they just need to be motivated to exercise. Or like new recipes. Or like fitness. That’s the purpose of the group. Giving a shit about your health, first.
As for my mental health, I’m grateful to the many people who contributed their thoughts and shared their personal experiences with how fucking tough it is to navigate January, post-Christmas debt, a pandemic, and uncertainty about the virus. How you handle lockdown. Or essential services. Or what does it mean to not see your family. My oldest turns 20 on Monday. I haven’t seen her in months. I’ve been fairly pragmatic in my approach to talking about mental health and the necessity to be open with your journey and your state of mind. So many incidences occur strictly because of the taboo that still shakes the very core of mental well-being. There’s still a stigma attached to saying: I’m not okay. And it baffles me that when you have a string of great days that someone will come along and tell you that you must not have been depressed at all if you’re already feeling back at it. Mental health and your mental health stability is a process. It’s okay if it takes time. .
Speaking of, I have about two dozen read-but-not-responded-to text messages in my inbox. I have another dozen unread. And I’ll get to them, I will. But what I’ve learned is that you have to really evaluate your priority tree. We’ve talked about this before in previous blogs that you have to determine what balls are made of glass and which are plastic to determine which you’ll let fall from juggling. Right now, I can’t get back to all my messages from all my friends. Right now, I’m so busy with work, and kids, and getting my head screwed on straight that my focus is keeping food on the table, my relationship alive, my kids healthy, and eight hours of sleep a night. That’s what I have. And when I can get back to all the greetings on Facebook, Insta or otherwise, I will. Those are the plastic balls. And that’s what I’ve had to let fall, for now.
Stop making yourself sick with guilt that you had to choose you first. You’re no good to anyone if you’re sacrificing yourself.
Speaking of relationships, today is National Spouse Day. And while he and I haven’t even put much thought into when we’ll actually get married, Jan has become my spouse. We didn’t need the stamp of common-law (thanks Canada!) to prove it. I need to give a shout-out to that dude. Because we have had a pretty rough go these last six months or so. We’ve talked about separating, but ultimately, we know where we belong. And we know what’s driving us to talk about walking away. We refuse to use concrete language when we linger around the thought of not working out. What’s permanent is the love that we have for one another. No matter how much that dude makes me insane, I can’t imagine a day where I would be okay without having him. And same for me. We’ve discovered that he is the rock. Steadfast. True. Standing proud. Unmoving. Unshaking. Sturdy. He is the rock in our relationship. And I am the sea. I am a rushing, churning, wave of dreams and theatrics. I am splashing against the rock for attention, and I am constantly looking at life in all different directions. But, the sea needs the rock to yield the storm waters and guide the streams. And the rock needs the sea to give it purpose, and design. Jan and I are lucky to have one another.
Today was an extraordinary day. Today, I stepped up on the scale and was welcomed by a new milestone. I have surpassed 56lbs lost, and taken off more than 15″ off my waist. To witness a new goal crushed – well, it’s just compelling me to keep working towards the finish line. Jan has taken to eating healthier, working with his trainer (virtually) Farr, and I’m stoked to see him through his fitness journey.
This week’s fitness track:
Become a collaborator on my Health Care Spotify playlist:
And yes, I do still have my weight loss photos posted on an external website. Message me if you want the link. (These are the photos of me in my knickers. lol)
Food this week:
The above photo was really important. On the left, I was so sick with an allergy attack. I was trying everything to figure out why I was still gaining weight, despite all my efforts to lose it. Eventually we’d discover it was my thyroid medication, but in this photo, we were trying to decide if I was celiac (we eventually learned that I have a gluten intolerance that can trigger eczema). The photo on the right is feeling real good about figuring out what was really going on.
You can if you want to.
— c ☆