Hurry Up and Heel – Week 8, Day 1

I’m just going to lead off with how frustrating this injury has become.

Let’s just start there.

It’s coming up on what feels like a million days and weeks since I fell. And what began as an inconvenience has turned into a royal pain in my ass.

Physio begins Tuesday. That’s a least a start. Without benefits, this is going to come out of my pocket. And because I lost the main source of my income due to not being able to walk, things seem to just get tighter and tighter. On Friday, I have an ultrasound booked with Hotel Dieu.

The injury seems impossible. It hurts to sleep, because if I’m laying on my side, my ankle is laying against the bed with weight on it. And it aches. When I get up and it feels better for a bit, I walk around on it, and it starts to tingle again. I drive my car in short spurts, but I can’t handle more than twenty or thirty minutes, because it feels like an elastic band wrapped around my ankle.

I’ve noticed two significant times where it hurts. I popped up on my tiptoes to reach the robe on the back of my door, and I could feel the back of my heel strain and it was like fire. I sat down in a chair with both feet planted on the floor, and it was the same zap of pain. A tensor causes major swelling, that when I take it off, the fluid around my ankle is popped up like a cherry. It’s constantly going cold, to hot, then the tingling sensation takes over again. Walking is a limp, unless I’m in the boot or on a crutch. I don’t know what the hell I did, but the recovery is slowwwwwww. I can stand in a shower. I can inch slowly around my house. But even as I write this, I can feel that pins and needles creeping all over it again. And while rotating it around in circles doesn’t hurt, touching it doesn’t hurt, it still causes swelling. And by this point, the swelling should be next to non-existent. And it’s pissing me off.

The most I’m capable of doing on my weight loss journey is just try to maintain. Not gain, not lose, but maintain. I’m so unbelievably worried about gaining again, because at my age, it’s hard to take off the excess. And it’s very easy to give into temptation. Not pay mind to what you’re eating, and just gobble up your feelings. In the long run, that will severely impact my mental health. So I’ve continued with intermittent fasting, and I’m satisfied that’s working.

Two points of note this week.

One: the bodybuilding competition was postponed. That reconfigures my entire year’s goal. I mean, let’s get real here. It was for the best. My goal shifted away from bodybuilding and into recovery back in January. I should be grateful that I don’t have that pressure, but it’s the pressure that keeps me sharp. On point, and motivated. Sucks. The new goal should simply be getting my ankle in shape enough that I can tie up my skates for Derby this year. That should be the focus.

The most I’m capable of doing on my weight loss journey is just try to maintain. Not gain, not lose, but maintain. I’m so unbelievably worried about gaining again, because at my age, it’s hard to take off the excess. And it’s very easy to give into temptation. Not pay mind to what you’re eating, and just gobble up your feelings. In the long run, that will severely impact my mental health. So I’ve continued with intermittent fasting, and I’m satisfied that’s working.

Two: I’m on my own. While I respect, and appreciate my former trainer, without being able to work out, or really get into the gym first from lockdowns and then because of my injury, I am focussing on getting rehabilitated before I start seriously looking at training again. It’s an uphill battle. And I’m focussed right now on fasting, and physio. When I can move more freely, when I can get back up on my treadmill, perhaps then I will seek training again.

But – it’s also imperative for me to continue checking in. To continue measuring, weighing, and being accountable. This is how I lost 60lbs last year. I was adamant that all of you who continue to follow were a big part of the success. I hope that each of you get something from these blogs and seeing my desire to continue forging forward, good or bad, gain or lose. Because without each of you reading, following, commenting and responding, it’s easy to lose my way. Thank you.

This week, outside of the physical setbacks and competition cancelation, were interesting to say the least. I think part of what I have to remember during the fasting period is to eat. And eat right. That’s really the key. It’s not just simply choosing to not eat. It’s about giving the nutrients back to my body during the fasting period.

And water. So much water. Water is really the determining factor on how your body processes and hydrates and accepts nutrients. It’s a struggle for me on the daily to accept that Malibu Rum is not water.

But what I really loved about this week was getting together with my Soul Sistahs for the first time since November. With lockdown restrictions, and holidays, and the variant, we’ve gone months without getting together.

Part of my time with the girlies is the food. From cheesecake to taco dips, we get together and feast. And this week was no exception.

Alright, the check in. How did we make out this week?

I think – think – the first sign of success is feeling better. And I’m feeling less bloated. Feeling less heavy. And at 193.6, I’m down almost 10lbs since I started in January. And that feels like a step in the right direction. Bust is the same at 39″, and waist at 41″. But my hips clocked in at 40, so we’re down an inch this week.

I can’t stress enough how important it is for me to not be gaining versus losing. I remember how hard it was in 2020 to lose that initial 30lbs.

For now, love bugs, it’s back to another week of intermittent fasting, upping the water, and remembering to eat. Not to allow another equally as harmful dieting habit – giving up eating at all. It doesn’t actually help you lose weight, you know. It actually inspires your body to store, keep, and retain.

much love.

-c ★

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